How do you know how good/bad a movie is?

Well, actually before I go any further, the purpose of this blog at this point is currently the discussion of movies. In the future, I do plan to discuss other stuff, but right now, I am tackling the cinema. Some of you asked, and I wanted to address it.

Now that I have that out of the way, I am going to address something I mentioned last night in my blog. Using the critics and the reviews you see in the commercials, is there a way to tell if a movie is good or bad. I say yes there is, and I am going to tell you how. It's very simple.

1. I have a group of critics that I use as my point of reference. The more of them that like the better, the more likely it is that I will like the movie. In no particular order, they are: Roger Ebert, Peter Travers (from Rolling Stone), David Ansen (from Newsweek), Richard Corliss (from Time Magazine), and Entertainment Weekly's two headed reviewing monster, Owen Gleiberman and Lisa Schwarzbaum. Be aware though, Corliss and Ansen's duties at their respective publications have evolved into more of movie columnists than reviewers. They count as a 1/2 vote each.
2. A corollary to that rule of thumb is this: The more of the other major major media outlets that like it, the better. By major, I mean New York Times, USA Today stature stuff.
3. What does the Philadelphia Inquirer think? If Stephen Rea and/or Carrie Rickey like it, I won't, and if they hate, I'll like it. I haven't agreed with either of those idiots for 15 years. That said, this rule doesn't only apply to those in the Philly area. If you still read the paper and they review movies, insert the name of a critic you usually disagree with here and apply it.
4. I don't trust Ben Lyons. He is a tool, and his father is a much better critic. Talent skipped a generation. Besides, he LIKES everything, and it's annoying.
5. The more obscure the review on the ad, the worse the movie is. If they are using a review from the film critic in Bumblefuck, Iowa, chances are it might not be all that great of a film. Also, the smaller the print, the worse the source. Don't believe me, "The Spirit" had very obscure good reviews in small print, and it got savaged at the box office and by the critics (ex.: one critic actually used the phrase "there's two hours of my life I won't get back" in his review. )
6. Don't trust the blogs or their reviews, with one exception which I will get to in a second. Movie blogs such as Ain't it Cool News, Dark Horizons, etc. usually get catered to a bit, so I don't know if they are the most unbiased people out there. I think the one site I would give any credence to is Rotten Tomatoes, since they have a critic rating that averages the reviews of all critics together.
7. Pete Hammond likes everything too, and he seems to see more movies that Ben Lyons.

If you choose to follow these simple rules, you may find that you are seeing better quality movies. Case in point: Out of those in the top five with reviews of Drag Me to Hell currently posted (Rolling Stone and Entertainment Weekly), the praise is unanimous in favor.